The Mighty Brahmaputra (“Son of God Brahma”) stood with the lower Himalayan range on one side. Originating in the Himalayas, the river never ran dry and served as both protector and destructor of Assam. For Selza, the river and the mountains were guiding lights. Whenever she need to make sense of things, she came here to this jetty. 

She loved looking at the horizon – the calming still waters and the faint range of mountains were her constant counsels. Here she could see her journey thus far, while looking outwards towards the horizon for inspiration of the future she aspired for. Here she could think and make sense of her thoughts. But today, the battle raged within her. Her normal calm self was disturbed beyond words. 

The river beckoned her, “Be still, my child, you know the path you have to take!!”

“No, I do not know! Should I…should I not..? What about the past? What about now? Has he changed at all?” Unanswered questions kept sailing in and out of her head.

“You have a duty to your profession to defend this man!!”

“What about the duty to me, Selza.. The Selza Hazarika. If I do this, I will fall for him again, I know it!!”

“You will rise up beyond this, my child!!”, said the mountain chipping in.

“I don’t think I have the strength in me to do this. Not once again.. not once again”, she said shaking her head repeatedly,  “and specially not at this juncture when this one decision can…” She waned off, shuddering at the prospect of what that could mean.

Selza kept arguing, like she had done so many times successfully in the actual court, but this argument with herself was really going nowhere.

She started reminiscing the past. The starting was so beautiful. A chance meeting at the florists had caused their paths to cross. Harry had floored her with his charm. Those were really carefree days where the two 20 somethings kept flirting around town. The laughs, loves, treks, the long bike rides and the intimacy all came rushing back. The whirlwind romance and the promises of forever were still fresh in her mind as if it had happened yesterday. Both sets of parents were very happy with the relation and dates were being fixed. Even though Harry’s father was a vagabond of sorts, he promised to be part of the revelry. Then out of the blue and almost on cue, the dark phase – the lies, deceit and betrayal flashed before her eyes and how her life went downhill.

Her mind wandered forward to the struggles post the betrayal. The long hours, the night classes, the sheer hard work, the grit, all leading to getting in a foothold.. no make that toehold in the “Boys Club” of elite lawyers. Despite all odds, she had dazzled the judges with her gritty fights, and extensive homework and bullish attitude to make her what she was today – a sharp, confident, meticulous legal eagle! One who’s knockout in the court read as 80-0. The Firm also realized her worth and over the last 10 years she had risen up the ranks to become a Partner awaiting her induction into the senior partnership. It was where she wanted to be, but now this!

“Hell, he has been all that I have been running away from all this time” went on Selza.

He was the love of her life, the one for whom she could have done anything… anything at all. But Harry was like his namesake, the magician, Houdini, a  person who charmed in and left without a trace. Only this Harry disappeared with much more than himself, he disappeared breaking her heart and leaving her at the edge of financial, emotional and total ruin. 

Maybe Selza Hazarika was made because of that. Her fight started from the betrayal and perhaps steeled her into the force she was today.

And now the audacity of the man to come back after all this time astounded her. She was forced to defend him, as he was close to one of the Senior Partners. But what really took the cake, was that he had requested for Selza to be his Defending Counsel.

His version – it was a case of a mistaken identity! But was it indeed? He had done it in the past as well. Afterall who would know him better than she!

And then there was the matter of the flutters!! He was a charmer and a part of her still was very much in love. A part that she had buried deep inside for such a long time, was struggling to come out today.

Today calmness of the still waters were of no help. Like the raging Brahmaputra, which was always calm on the top but has a wild current underneath, so too was Selza, raging from within. Conflicting thoughts, kept assailing her mind.

The sharp wind from the river brought her back to reality. It was well past 8 and she need to rush back to the hustle bustle of the real world. Afterall, today, Mr. Samarendra ‘Sam’ Bora had called her for the briefing with Harry.

She jogged back to her apartment, a quarter of mile away from the bridge. It was a small cottage by the riverside. Unlike many of her colleagues in the firm, Selza still preferred the simple life and minimalistic living. Her small cottage by the riverside was a quaint place filled with memories of her parents and her past. It boasted a small flower garden on one side and everyday fruits and vegetables on the other. Quickly changing her attire to the regular black and whites Selza rushed to the office.

Contrary to her personal life, the firm of Bora & Sons, was elaborate and full of life, and the epitome of  loud action. The war room was on 24/7! The firm itself had seen many upheavals during its time, but was one of the most respected and renowned litigation firms in Guwahati. 

Selza was their star. In the last 10 years she had made the court her stage and won all her cases thus far.

Sam was waiting for her in his cabin. Though he was fairly senior, he was still quite sprightly and active. At the age of 80, still a regular badminton player. At the same time his mind was as razor sharp as ever. Facts, dates, judgements all were imprinted in that computer in his head.

“Mornin’ Selza” he rasped in his usual serious tone, stroking his french beard.

“Morning Sam”, Selza quipped back.

“So ready for the show?”

“Yes”. There was no hint of the doubt in her voice. Afterall, here she was not the unsure girl standing at the jetty.

“I know I am putting you in a tough spot with this case, but you know how it is – Client is King! His wishes must be respected”. 

“Having said that, are you comfortable?” continued Sam.

“What does it matter, Sam? We have a job to do. It’s the nature of the beast. We can’t think of comfort here.”

“Still”, Sam persisted. “If there ever was a case made out for stepping aside, this is it”. 

“NO!”

“Selza, I have lived long and seen just about everything in my lifetime. So I am telling you now, this may get ugly very fast. Are you ready? Once we step out of this cabin, I will no longer be–!”

“NO, Sam!! I will be fine.” cut in Selza, raising the pitch of her voice ever so slightly.

Sam nodded grudgingly. He saw the glint of steel in her eyes like he had done so many times before. He knew she was ready.

The old man strode to the door allowing Selza to walk out first with the files in her hand. They walked silently to a large door with old British structure entering into a large room, a good part of which was filled by the large oval shaped mahogany table. The founding partners had a taste for the exquisite art and architecture. The room had the old Victorian touch like many of the places in the city. The walls were covered with books in wall cabinets all around the room and if not for the 42 inch screen and the audio video conference system that was at the centre of the table, you could virtually go back in time.

It was in this setting that Harry with his well chiselled face and immaculate looks sat at one end of the oval. If that moment could be framed it was as if a movie star was sitting at their office. However today the twinkle in the eyes and dimple smile which used to be his trademark moves, seemed missing to Selza.

For a second, just a split second Selza felt weak – the flutters! But quite like the professional she was quickly recovered.

“Hey Harry”, Sam greeted.  “So nice to see you after such a long time”. 

“Nice to be back, Sam, though the circumstances could have been more fortunate.”

“So true, but that’s what we are here for. Selza shall we start.”

For a brief moment, Harry and Selza’s eyes locked. Pain, remorse, love, hate the full spectrum of emotions flashed.

“Hello Harry”, said Selza in a curt and matter-of-factly tone.

“Hi, Selza”, greeted Harry.

Without wasting any time, Selza dove right into the case.

“So you say that you were arrested due to a case of mistaken identity?”

“Ah!!…Yes”.

“Please explain it a bit more elaborately”. 

Selza tried to read his face. While the swagger was still there and the face charming as ever, she got a sense that there was something off about him…something missing.

“Well” he started shakily. 

“You know, I have had this crazy idea for a startup for the longest time and have been garnering funds for it from the father of someone I am seeing” he started.

Selza felt a sense of déjà vu. “I have been through this…” she thought.

“This time I have a strong plan and have pitched it to some customers. It’s a sure shot thing” continued Harry.

“I had another sleeping party, a friend who was supposed to invest the funds in a stock for the time being till we are ready. The person has disappeared. The police arrested me right out without verifying the facts”.

“Why did you run then?” queried Selza “you could have easily explained.”

“I have priors. That too was bull. You of all people should have…”

She did not want it to go back in time at this juncture. She did not want to dwell on the fact that he had done this in the past with her. The everyday fights on another half brained idea which kept stretching her meagre income that she was making at the time. The charmer had worked his way through the monies of a lot of people including her parents. He used his guile and emotionally blackmailed her parents. That was the day she had lost it!!

“Let’s discuss this case for now.” Selza quickly cut him off, bringing herself back to the present.

“In any case, I tried to explain this to my girlfriend but she would have nothing off it. That’s what bring us here. Her dad is a highly respected armed forces guy- a Colonel. He was ready to shoot me when the news broke. In his mind I am already guilty”.  

“I felt that if I get you as my defending counsel and am able to convince you, I stand a chance. After all..”, he continued.

Selza glared at him. “What a cheek!!” she thought.

“Well, we deal with facts and evidence in a court of law, not convictions and opinions.” It’s your word versus the facts that are currently on the table. Sleeping partner you said. Do you have anything to prove this character of yours exists or ever existed?” 

“I, don’t know what I can give you. The individual largely stayed out of sight.”

“Well then, Harry, unfortunately, you are skating on thin ice. What’s the evidence he is not a creation of your imagination to support your case?” Selza persisted.

“I cannot name him, if that’s what you are asking”

The old baggages came into Selza’s voice. “He will slink away for sure”, she thought “just like last time!”

10 years back Harry, after taking the monies from various individuals, had one day just disappeared. Cases of fraud had piled up against him in the Courts, but Harry had managed to hoodwink officials and flee the country. His friends were questioned but to no avail.

“C’mon Harry!”, egged on Sam.

Harry remained silent as if lost in thought. He kept rumbling through the papers in front of him as if looking for something that wasn’t there.

After what seemed an eternity he spoke slowly, “These are all the documents I have with me. As I said, I cannot name the person”. Harry handed over the file that he had been fiddling on.

“Why so ever not, Harry! You know the consequences. It’s not just one case but these series of cases”. Selza pointed to the scores of files on the table.

“As I said, not possible and THAT’S THAT!!” said Harry agitatedly.

“Ok. If that’s that, So Be It, Harry! Good luck with your case. Find some other fool to defend you.” retorted Selza, getting up and collecting the files on the table. 

Both of them were about to square off in to a fresh round of argument when the old man interjected, “Guys! Enough for today. Let’s reconvene tomorrow and discuss afresh.”

“He really knows how to push my buttons!!” thought Selza equally upset.

After Harry had left, Sam, sat her down. Sam treated Selza like his child, apart from being her mentor. 10 years back, she was a broken down girl short of confidence and always second guessing herself. It was then in one of the court cases where he had argued against her, he had seen the spark within. She had the ability to leave her personal life outside of the court room – both a boon and a bane.

“You have to give it time, dear. Perhaps, there was something there all those years back.”

“No! I know the man, through and through. He was a crook then. He is a crook now!!”

“Now, now, calm down!! Just read up the files. See if you can find something there and we will take a crack at this tomorrow”.

Selza grudgingly nodded.

The briefing had eaten up a better part of the day. For Selza though the day was just starting.

Back at her cottage, Selza calmed herself by brewing herself a pot of first flush Assam tea. She needed a stronger dose today. Harry had riled her up beyond words!

She sat herself down on the two seater sofa and poured herself a cup. 

“Why did he have to come back and make a mess of my life?” she shouted loudly to an empty house.

Still visibly agitated, she sat down with the files pouring over them. While one part of her wanted him to suffer, another was hoping against hope for something she could use.

A hour into her study, she still could not find any clues as to the whereabouts of the ‘missing partner’. She dug on scoring through all the files new and old. Closing her eyes, she recapped the conversation that took place earlier that day.

“Wasn’t Harry being a bit too defensive about the sleeping partner…? It was almost as if he was…”

“What about 10 years ago?” She tried to remember the sequence of events which led to his vanishing act, but it was the first time she was looking at it with a dispassionate mind. 

“He had collected the money from her parents and was supposed to give it to someone for investment… quite like this time. What happened post that…?”. 

She tried hard to recollect. All she could remember was the next day when people started hounding them for money as she was assumed to be part of the enterprise. Her parents were heckled by an angry mob. Had it not been for her neighbours, that day would have been the last day of their lives. By that time neither Harry nor his uncle (who stayed with him) were to be seen. Father was always a drifter and could not be traced in any way. 

“Something is missing…some link does not seem to be quite there” she exclaimed. 

She started pouring her tea into the cup absentmindedly and it overflowed on to the saucer before she realized. 

“Ah!!” she yelped as hot tea fell onto her hand holding the saucer. 

Dropping the cup and saucer she rushed to save the files. Hurriedly she picked them up and flung them next to her on the sofa. As she did so, she chanced upon Harry’s files. In the melee earlier she had picked up that as well. Curiosity got the better of her and she started browsing its content. Like the Brahmaputra during the flood,  waves of the past hit her like a brick. The missing link fell into place.

“Oh!! No!! Why!! Why!!”

Her deepest fears were confirmed.

Next day she confronted him in the conference room with her findings.

“Why Harry, Why? And that too after all these years?” 

Selza could not keep the professional and personal sides apart for once in her career. Before her lay the documents and cheques for each of the people whom he owed money to. 

Harry sighed a heavy sigh as if the weight of the world had been lifted. In his heart he always knew that Selza was the only person in the world who would be able to piece things together. 

“10 years back, my uncle had run away with the funds chasing a get rich scheme. As he was nowhere to be found, the investors came after me and in panic I ran. I promised to pay everyone back. It was hard work, but I have come back once I had the funds to repay the debts. I did not have the strength to face you and your mistrust of me, and therefore I remained away from you all this time”.

You could have spoken to me. You should have confided in me. “You should have trusted me. You could have trusted us.”

Harry continued, as he held onto Selza’s hands “In due course my uncle after losing everything had come to me, promising that he had turned a leaf. But money again proved to be a corrupter. He ran off leaving me in a lurch. But I owe him a lot. He practically raised me and therefore had set out to take the fall for his misdeeds.” 

Harry softly “I thought I could do this without letting you in, but seeing you yesterday, I could not go through with it. I never stopped loving you!!”

Selza was back for answers on the jetty. She recounted in her mind what had happened. Again there was a war raging, but this time it was about herself. Was he right or wrong in doing what he did? Was he wronged? Did she misunderstand everything that had transpired, everything that he had done? Was he the hero or the villain of the piece? What about the lost time? What about their love? 

Looking for answers she stared at the river and the Brahmaputra silently flowed on.